Who Knows American History???

Will Profit posted on 06/26/09 at 08:29 AM

{updated 9:50 am CT}
The first day of school and a new Indian student named  Chandrasekhar Subramanjan entered the fourth grade.

 The teacher said,  "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said... 'Give me Liberty or give me Death?"

 She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775," he said.

 "Very good!  Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth'

 Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar.  Abraham Lincoln, 1863," he said.

 The teacher snapped:  "Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our  country, knows more about its history than you do.?

 She heard a loud whisper:  " **** the Indians."
 
 Who said that?" she demanded.   Chandrasekhar put his hand up..."General Custer, 1862."

 At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

 The teacher glared around and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"

 Again, Chandrasekhar raised his hand and said,  George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

 Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? **** this!"

 Chandrasekhar jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouted to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

 Now with almost mob hysteria someone said,  "You little ****. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

 Chandrasekhar frantically yelled at the top of his voice,  "Michael Jackson, to the child witnesses testifying against him,
 2004."

 The teacher fainted.

 And as the class gathered around the teacher slumped on the floor, someone said, Oh ****, we're screwed!" And Chandrasekhar said quietly, "I think it was the American taxpayers, during the 2009 bailouts."

Lost in translation (Hmmm, I'm picturing Al Sharpton leading a march on Nigerian pipelines.):

[Russia's energy giant Gazprom has signed a $2.5bn (£1.53bn) deal with Nigeria's state operated NNPC, to invest in a new joint venture.

The new firm, to be called Nigaz, is set to build refineries, pipelines and gas power stations in Nigeria.] http://zerohedge.blogspot.com/2009/06/gazprom-and-state-of-nigeria-create-jv.html




"...you know, we got a little too much democracy in this country." (Jim Cramer 6/24/2009 on CNBC "Stop Trading")



My entry in this weeks Wizbang photo caption contest:
 
From the MSNBC newsroom:
 "The map of the world will be displayed at eye level for Chinese President Hu Jintao's oval office meeting with Barack O' Teleprompter."

http://wizbangblog.com/content/2009/06/26/wizbang-weekend-caption-contest-101.php


In honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins
                 Ice Cream has issued a new flavor, "Barocky Road."
                 Barocky Road is a blend of half Vanilla, half chocolate, and
                 surrounded by nuts and flakes.
                 The Vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually
                 denied as an ingredient.
                 The Nuts and Flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.
                 The cost is $100.00 per scoop.
                 When purchased, it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone,
                 but then the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line
                 behind you.
                 Thus you are left with an empty wallet, no change, holding an empty
                 cone, with no hope of getting any ice cream.
                 There......Aren't you feeling stimulated?

Is any love greater than that of a mother?

excerpt from AP article:

HUNTINGDON, Pa. – A high school secretary illegally changed grades in a school computer system to improve her daughter's class standing, according to criminal charges filed Thursday.

Caroline Maria McNeal of Huntingdon is accused of using the passwords of three co-workers without their knowledge to tamper with dozens of grades and test scores between May 2006 and July 2007 at Huntingdon Area High School in central Pennsylvania, the state attorney general's office said.

McNeal, 39, is alleged to have improved her daughter Brittany's grades and reduced those of two classmates to enhance Brittany's standing in the 2008 graduating class.

"Clouds" funnyjunk.com:

                                  
 American Medical Association on the Stimulus Package:

Apparently the American Medical Association has weighed in on the new economic stimulus package...

 The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not
 to make any rash moves.

 The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

 The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.

 Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

 Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said,
 'Oh, Grow up!'

 The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

 Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic
Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."

 The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were
 pissed off at the whole idea.

 The Anesthesiologists thought the idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists  didn't have the heart to say no.
 
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to
 the ***holes in Washington.

 

Edited by Will Profit at 09/03/11 at 09:19 AM

Share this! Report

Posted by Will Profit on 06/26/09 at 08:29 AM

Comments

idid posted June 26, 2009 (09:02AM)

Do I detect some disunion with our leaders in Washington? You gotta admit, their plan is working. Dumb down the kids, give them a hand out and they will be locked in the pin with no way out. The younger ones are blindly following, and at the moment, the libs are leading. I know here there is a drum beat of withdrawing from the union. And it is getting stronger everyday.

corbinb2 posted June 26, 2009 (09:23AM)

That Cramer-Stalin comparison is eery!

Will Profit posted June 26, 2009 (09:34AM)

I'm wondering if comrade Cramer would be insulted or flattered by the comparison. Uhhh, I'll go with flattered...I mean if that's what Ben Bernanke thinks...Ummmm, I don't know cuz Cramer and Bernanke have got it all, like so together, and...Uhhh, what the Hell do I know,cuz uh,uh...I'm only a Capitalist pig who ...

PolishWonder posted June 26, 2009 (12:21PM)

Lenin! not stalin.  Were you one of the american kids in the classroom.  That said, it is creepy as hell.

idid posted June 26, 2009 (01:05PM)

Obama says: " I knew it! They were lying when they told me the world was round!"

DavidDT Trading-to-Win.com posted June 26, 2009 (08:03PM)

PolishW
are you sure, are you absolutely positive that was the portrait of Lenin?
Can you guarantee that it was not Iosif Vissarionovich in make up?
And if you can - do you also believe that Russians won WWII?
(While bleeding and paying nation's gold in exchange for "American locomotives" ?)

The answer I'd like to know, really, who is worse: scam artist or greedy victim?
Chess_king_and_pawns_thumb Brokerage Account

JJL posted June 27, 2009 (05:27AM)

lol funny, I gotta admit being an investor has made me more enlightened on what is going on in our economy and the politics.

TheMechanic posted June 27, 2009 (03:24PM)

I always get those clouds all mixed up.

You must Log In to post to this blog.

Not a member? Register Now to …

  • See what other traders are doing
  • Make your own trades public
  • Share your thoughts on a trade
  • Join or start a group
  • Connect with like-minded traders